My Tongue-In-Cheek Legal Disclaimer

attorney standing on front of bookshelves with arms crossed
Affidavit ... after David ... whatever.

The Fine Print

This is one of many places I post my non-fiction ramblings (i.e., opinionated content), written and edited by me, purely for creativity and entertainment purposes.

The opinions and thoughts set forth here are mine — and only mine.

Detrimental Reliance

I caution you against relying on my ideas or advice because if you do, you’re on your own. You’ll likely find yourself flapping in the breeze. And if that happens, be it now known, I am not liable.

Furthermore, since we all know that objective reality can be quite dubious and even disputable given the limitations of a person’s perceptions and memory, I make no claim as to how accurate I am, or will ever be, in my recounting of events, nor do I attest to the absolute certainty of anything mentioned heretofore. (Some lawyer friend told me to say it like that.)

And, oh yeah, I reserve the right to manage my opinions and change anything I’ve written — at any time — at my sole discretion.

Be it also known that I do not solicit or accept any form of advertising, cash, payments, political emoluments, gold bullion, dog treats, or free laundry tokens.

I’m not a licensed professional, nor do I play one on TV or provide any kind of service (other than entertainment). I do not promote or sell any products, and I am not pitching a book. That is unless you make me angry, and I have nothing else on my desk to throw.

In other words, I like to write and laugh. Besides, laughter is cheaper than therapy or bail.

Skip This Chapter & Make It A Mystery

The story arc, character names, descriptions, and incidents portrayed in my ramblings are inspired by my history and personal life journey.

Being the swell gal I am, I have graciously taken care not to use anyone’s real name for courtesy and privacy purposes. You’re welcome.

That means no identification with actual persons (living or dead), specific places, buildings, entities, companies, automobiles, peanut butter brands, or other products should be inferred. I do occasionally say where I am from and name a city or two. So, as I write about individuals, it could be any of a number of people I’ve known over a career of several decades, so don’t assume I’m talking about you or someone you know. Okay, Pumpkin?

Oh, For PETA’s Sake!

And finally, for you animal activists out there: you can sleep at night knowing that no animals are ever endangered in the recording of my thoughts.

Here’s The Bottom Line, Folks

Sometimes you have to laugh at the ridiculousness of life. And sometimes, that ridiculousness involves writing and publishing an equally ridiculous disclaimer.

So there you have it. Now chill out ‘everybody! If you’ll excuse me, my lawyer friend is on the phone.


Send lawyers, guns, and money … Dad, get me out of this!


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