Pardon Me While I Wax Sentimental Over My Empty Bank Account

Young woman shocked looking at her online bank statement
From my Ghost Roast Cafe Collection, written in 2013

I’m Not The First & I Won’t Be The Last

It’s common for runaway partners to clear out what had formerly been a couple’s ‘joint’ bank accounts on their way out. As luck would have it, my husband was one of those Runaway Romeos. He absconded, doing the sea-bag drag with our hard-earned nest egg. [Shrug] Hey, what’dya gonna do?

But I’m not bitter—at least not anymore.

No doubt you know someone who experienced something similar, so there’s no need for me to belabor the point.

Misheard Lyrics Or A Humor Imp Acting Out?

The funny thing about music is that it files itself in the archives of your subconscious mind to be called up in a second’s notice–much the same way that memories of trauma and pain do.

Sometimes, those two things get called up simultaneously and compete for the same brain frequency. Depending on your personality and outlook, this can be funny. Let me explain.

The other day, I was shopping in a store that played the oldies overhead. A song by Diana Ross was playing, one I’d heard hundreds of times throughout the years.

However, this particular time I heard it a bit differently.

Some of those competing thoughts started running down the hallway for the exit, like kindergartners going outside for recess. Bumping into each other and merging into a single file at the consciousness level, I had a very entertaining “Misheard Lyrics’ moment.

Having now heard the song this way in my mind, I doubt I’ll ever be able to listen to it the correct way again.

Listen to this timeless classic by Diana Ross & The Supremes and see what you think. I’ve inserted the mind-meld words to the lyrics below, replacing the original lyrics with what my humor imp heard in red.

Sometimes, you gotta laugh.

Please leave me your comments below.

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My Parody Lyrics

Through the mirror of my mind – time after time – I see reflections of you and me
Reflections of the way life used to be – Reflections of the cash you took from me

Oh, I’m all alone now – No love to shield me – Trapped in a world that’s a Plus40+ reality
All that cash … you took from me – and left me all alone with only mere pennies 

Through the mirror of my mind – through these tears that I’m crying – Reflects a snark I can’t control
Cause although you’re gone – I keep ROFLing on — Oh the happy times
Now that you’re not mine 

As I peer through the window of lost time – Looking over my bank today
And all the cash I gave all in vain

(All the cash) All the cash that I’ve wasted – (All the tears) All the tears that I’ve tasted – All in vain

Through the hollow of my tears – I see a dream that’s lost – From the hurt that you have caused
Everywhere I turn – Seems like everything I see – Reflects my cash that used to be

In you I put all my faith and trust – Right before my eyes our savings turned to dust. 

After all the nights I sat alone and wept – Just a handful of promissory notes – Are all that’s left  loving you

Reflections of the way life used to be – Reflections of the cash you took from me
In you I put all my faith and trust – Right before my eyes – our savings turned to dust. 

 

Songwriters: Jr. / Brian Holland / Edward Holland / Edward Jr. Holland / Lamont Dozier / Lamont Herbert Dozier
Reflections lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

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