Please note that in the minutes.
I suppose I’m far enough out from my illustrious career to spill some tea and admit a few things.
This may come as a shock to you (not), but I wasn’t constantly being serious and thinking about overhead percentages, staffing ratios, and physician ROI when I was on the job.
No, there were countless times when my humor was running amok, but no one knew it.
One particular situation comes to mind - the day Stevie Ray Vaughan attended our billing department staff meeting.
The Billing Manager in this medical group had a well-deserved reputation for being a real … well, let’s just say everyone was sure her primary mode of transportation to work involved a broom.
Sadly, I terminated her after she failed an overly generous performance improvement plan. That’s fodder for another crazy story. But I digress …
This woman (we’ll call her Marie, not her real name) was on a power trip, having been recently promoted from line staff to a first-time supervisor.
The poor folks who reported to her avoided her like the plague; she was so overbearing.
Bob & Weave
Her hair was very short and - who knows why [?] - on certain days, she would don this [obviously fake] skinny, straw-looking hairpiece-thingy that she wore in ringlets attached to the back of her head.
Mind you, this hairpiece [?] did not come anywhere close to resembling real hair —at least not any kind of hair found on a homo sapien. Instead, it looked more like a dark oversized curling bow made of twine thinly-disguised to make you think it was hair. We weren’t buying it.
As a newbie supervisor, she thought ‘taking a tone’ made her look more managerial. She talked down to her staff, often launching into diatribes. As she did, her head would bob back and forth in an “oh-no-you-did-unt” kind of way.
When she did, her ringlets would bounce up and down.
Find Your Poker Face
I think I’m safe in saying that no one could take this sickly-pale woman with bright red lipstick (wearing what looked to be a ball of twine pinned to the back of her head) seriously. I know I couldn’t.
Staff generally spent their time in the meetings biting their lips and looking away to fight the urge to break into uncontrollable laughter.
So, being the bog boss sitting in on her meeting, I couldn’t afford to break my cover. Nor could I risk any tells that would give away that I, too, was having a hard time not blurting out something inappropriate, unprofessional (but funny) like, “You are the weakest link! Get out.”
Those faux ringlets bouncing around, stretching out, and recoiling made me think of that old slinky commercial. I hate to be unkind, but she looked ridiculous.
I did my best to remain serious and all big-boss-like when she was wearing that hairpiece-thingy. However, I couldn’t help but hear Stevie Ray playing in the background when she took the floor.
Say On Brother
Click below to listen to what Stevie Ray Vaughn was singing in my head. It was what we were all thinking but never had the heart to say. LOL
Gimme back my wig … honey let your head go bald
Gimme back that wig … honey let your head go bald
You really didn’t have no business … honey, buying no wig at all
Songwriters: Theodore R Taylor
Give Me Back My Wig lyrics ©Alligator Records/Eyeball Music
For years I moonlighted as a serious healthcare administrator. These days I am flying my humor flag and enjoying life. I write to dispel the rumor that I rode off quietly into the sunset. Smile and enjoy the ride. Life is good.